Drum roll please: congratulations girlfriend, you’ve just won ‘Bimbo of the Year’!

Let me enlighten you on what I’m talking about. There is a certain girl I know at a certain school who, for the moment, we’ll just call Ditz. Well, that’s the name she is most frequently known as behind her back. She is a total bitch and is synonymous with the phrases “what a bimbo” and “she is so dumb” coupled with the exasperated eye roll. She has her school skirt hiked halfway up her thigh and a really whiny voice that you can recognise from a mile away. Sort of like Fran Drescher’s from ‘The Nanny’, remember that show?, but less nasal and without the charm. To add insult to injury, this girl also shares my name. (No, my name is NOT ditz!) Think I’m exaggerating? This is a person who thinks stealing bases in softball is stupid because “who would want to steal a base? They’re so dirty”.

Now normally I wouldn’t have anything against desperate slutty bimbos who happen to have no brain (no, I’ll just laugh at their obvious stupidity – they say the funniest things though, anyone who is slightly not as dumb cannot come up with the things they do) but Ditz has decided that, because I am intelligent and do well at school, I am therefore classified a nerd. You know, I HATE labels. They’re so… stereotypical American high school that it makes me sick! Just because you’re a cheerleader doesn’t mean you are brainless (though I beg to differ in Ditz’s case). Just because you happen to be more quiet and withdrawn than everyone else doesn’t mean you’re a freak. Just because you are good at sport doesn’t mean you’re a ‘jock’. And just because you’ve rather spend your ten and a half thousand dollar a year education actually learning instead of bitching about other girls and gossiping about guys you met on the weekend DOESN’T MAKE YOU A NERD!

Okay, now that I’ve got my daily rant out of the way, let’s get on with the story. Ditz tried out for the school drama purely to get a boyfriend (all girls’ school … you know how it is). I got in, and when she sees the noticeboard, she goes, “Omigod, I got in, I got in!” Well whaddaya know, she can’t read either. Then someone tells her, no she didn’t get in, I’m the one who actually got in, and she is so pissed. So she goes around bitching about me all day about how I’m such a nerd and why the hell I got into the drama in the first place. Hello? Like, I can act and she can’t? Another time, she wore a miniskirt on a school excursion to the zoo. I ask you, who wears a miniskirt to a zoo excursion? When we were there we went into the butterfly house and she kept trying to get butterflies to land on her and freaked out when they actually did because she thought they were trying to eat her.

That sounds really bitchy, doesn’t it? Anyway, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Almost all of my friends, and everyone else who has been in a prolonged situation with her have been driven to the point of insanity where they don’t know whether to laugh or cry at her brainlessness. Come to think of it, I don’t think she actually has many real friends. Sometimes, I wonder whether she’s really actually an evil genius behind a mask of shallowness, and inside she’s laughing at us because we all think she’s so stupid. Because I find it hard to believe someone can actually be that dumb.

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