As part of our community service course this year, we had a bunch of babies and toddlers come into our class for no apparent reason but for us to observe their different stages of development. Pretty pointless if you ask me, but hey, I’m not complaining. We got to play with babies!!!

At one point when the teacher left the room with the last lot of mums and bubs, AY and her gang invaded our class. Now let me clarify a few things about AY. (This is the part where I’m going to get suitably bitchy.) AY is short, blonde, “voluptuous” (read: heavy on top) and flirts with basically any guy she comes into contact with. Even when they’re forty-year-old balding guest speakers. Gross. Oh, and did I forget to mention she’s Greek? In a very big way? Not that there’s anything WRONG with that, but I thought you’d like to know. So then, at least two of the facts I have listed automatically qualify her for the leader of the wog and/or slut group, a position that she indeed does claim. I’ll let you decide which two facts those are.

So anyway, AY and her ‘gang’ (of which at least two-thirds really secretly hate her, but c’est la vie when you hang out with the bitchy girls…) have stormed into our classroom and they’re all like, oh my God, how hot was that baby! He is exactly like a mini version of… (sorry, stealing this technique from Candace Bushnell) and then they name one of the really hot guys from ballroom dancing. Speaking of which, they might be holding more classes later this year. Yay! But anyway.

Uh, a baby? Hot? Does anyone else think it’s getting juuuuust a little bit wrong here? And AY’s like, if he was ten years older I’d marry him! And everyone else is like, um honey? If he were ten years older he’d be twelve. At this point I am ready to start bashing my head into a tree.

I don’t know, help me out here. Just how bloody des-per-ate can you get?? Thinking that a two-year-old is hot has totally crossed the boundary between pervy and perverted. So maybe if you were Demi Moore and needed a toyboy to make yourself feel young again that’d be okay, (well, it still wouldn’t be okay to check out a two-year-old toddler but the equivalent, someone over a decade younger, is acceptable) but she’s NOT BLOODY DEMI MOORE! Maybe it’s just that all of us have spent way too long at a girls’ school for our own good. (Amen, sister. Amen.) But seriously, that is soooo wrong.

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