Saturday’s here and we’ve just pulled into the lot of the Catholic school that doubles as the Tai Chi training ground on weekends. I spot a black motorbike propped up beside the front gate. Sweet, I think. Andrew’s here.

(For those of you not so acquainted with the earliest of my rantings, Andrew is one extremely hot occasional Tai Chi instructor who is not only ridiculously good-looking but also like the most graceful and coordinated person I know. Did I mention he drives a motorbike? Not one of those big chunky ginormous oooh, look-at-me, I’m-asserting-my-manhood-and-just-in-case-you’re-wondering-my-package-is-big-as-well vehicles, but subtler, sleeker, yet with enough random silver pipes and dials growing out of it to exude the kind of virile masculinity most often seen in the pages of those trashy guy mags with half naked blondes fawning over hotted-up sports cars. But in a good way, of course. And the black leather biker jacket that goes with it – omigod. On most people a fitted biker jacket does have its strange appeal but on Andrew? Excuse me while I go off to drool. Screw political correctness and not being shallow – I would so go out with a guy with a bike who looks as hot as Andrew does in his biker jacket. Heck, I would buy myself a motorbike purely for the valid chance to own a said sexy jacket… but I digress. Ahem.)

So anyway, for the next hour or so I was completely distracted by the inescapable hotness of Andrew. He’s got this five o’ clock shadow and… well, “bedroom” hair for lack of better word I swear I’m not a creepy obsessive pervert, I just like admiring from afar… okay, MESSY hair that you know isn’t styled but looks better than if it was, and he’s wearing this big pair of sunnies that can look totally sleazy on the wrong person but he manages to pull them off the way the lead singer of Stereophonics did at the Live8 concert who by the way is also very rock star hot. And then at one point he put my hands on his chest (I swear it’s not as bad as that sounds! Oh really, you perverted people) …to demonstrate how one of the moves can be used to knock someone over – oh lordy.

Tai Chi class has suddenly become a hell of a lot more interesting.

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