30 Nov 2003

It's beginning to feel a little bit like Christmas ...

Okay, so it was beginning to feel a little like Christmas two months ago. But oh yes, tomorrow's December which hails a new bombardment of Santas at shopping malls, haphazard tinsel on every shopfront, Ferrero Rocher holiday commercials (drool ... who can resist Ferrero Rocher) and how could we forget -- the nonratings season. Two whole joyous months of forgotten sitcoms dug out from the bottom of the network studios' closets and some really corny Christmas telemovies. Gag.

Posted By Little Miss Nobody//11:11 am

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28 Nov 2003

So mother and father dearest have been doing Tai Chi for about a year, right. And every time they come back from a lesson MM and DD always ure me to come join them, get ‘fit’ and learn Tai Chi. And every time I think, yeah sure. I know I’m majorly unfit and I swear that raspberry cheesecake has just added another two inches to my thighs, but how the hell is Tai Chi going to give me a cardiovascular workout? How is it going to help me get rid of the fat I have been consuming at an alarming pace as of late? (There’s cellulite on my legs! I’m too young for cellulite!) So MM and DD have been working slowly away at my defences, taking turns to prey on me when I am at a weak point (like an after-dinner over-the-TV convo – is it just me or is my life beginning to revolve around food?) and I’ve finally relented to go see what it’s like for myself. Well, not the Tai Chi classes themself, but another Tai Chi-based martial arty class. Thing. Anyway, so we drive to the place and there are all these people punching the life out of their partner’s punch bags and it was totally like a kickboxing class. That I can seriously get into. But then I realized I’d have to go through a few years of basic Tai Chi to be able to do the classes, “appreciate the form and learn to harness your chi”. I’m not lying; the master really did say that!

But let’s talk about Andrew … Okay, maybe it’s wrong to think someone twice your age or more is attractive. So sue me! You haven’t seen Andrew! I got the impression he was a bit aloof, but he is so gorgeously elegant and coordinated that it’s really not fair. Maybe it’s a lefty thing, but I have a serious coordination problem telling my lefts from rights. Which so does not help when you’re trying to dance! And then the sport teacher tells you’re the reverse your steps and you’re screwed because you didn’t know what the hell you were doing in the first place and she’s like, go right, no RIGHT dammit, and you’re like I’m trying, I’m trying, do you know how bloody hard this is, and she hates you anyway coz you’re not a sports freak like she is … sorry. Rambling.

Andrew. He’s doing some really basic moves as everyone else but at twice the speed and looks so much more graceful. He’s better than the dude who’s been learning for the last ten years. Andrew stops for a drink and a rest and he lifts up his shirt to wipe his face … mental hand fanning! … He is so hot!!!!!!!! And then they take out the mats and practice falling and throwing people. It looks like fun. Then there’s this guy in a pink shirt and gold chain – I’m not a homophobe but I swear he is gay, what straight man in his right mind would wear a pink shirt? Though I suppose DD does, but that’s because it got caught in with the reds and his own cheapness prevented him from getting another one. But he doesn’t wear the pink shirt anymore so I guess he’s exempt – and the guy in the pink shirt keeps ‘struggling’ to master the bodily throw which involves getting the person on your hip and flinging them forward. And since Andrew was the model who everyone was throwing … hell, I don’t blame him for wanting to get closer to Andrew! Perhaps I’m seeing things again, but I swear Pink Shirt touched him on the arse quite a few times … and a mighty fine arse at that too … okay, I’ll stop!

So we drive back home and on the way there’s a pretty nasty car accident and they’ve put dinky little red and blue flashing lights on the fluorescent orange road cones. What a wonderful end to the day.

Oh crap. You know what I’ve just realized? My parents have just about conned me into doing Tai Chi!

Posted By Little Miss Nobody//7:19 pm

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27 Nov 2003

Hey all, decided to set up this blog in a moment of pure spontaneity and – now that I have had time to ponder it over more, to hopefully improve my ‘creative writing’ skills note the inverted commas – and I figured I’ll see how it goes and who knows, maybe I’ll get a reader or two along the way (gasp shock horror) and hopefully not a stalker … So, I don’t know, how do you really start one of these things? I suppose I should begin by telling the whole of random cyberspace who the hell I am. Okay, maybe not exactly who I am because you can never be too careful if you were me with my paranoia, but as much as possible. Of course you can always choose to disregard everything I say, as I could really be a Star-Trek nerd lacking in social interaction skills or a sixty-year-old pervert with a penchant for Norwegian maids. But that’s the Internet for you, folks. Moving on.

Call me Ishmael. (Heh heh heh … no really, please don’t) I’m a female of undefinable religion (as in halfway between atheist and some kind of mishmash religion in my head), undetermined age, from an undetermined country and race. (I’ve just about used up my quota of ‘undetermined’ for the day.) I am a self-proclaimed borderline geek who has, shamefully, a slight fixation with Lord of the Rings. Well, I admit a true LOTR fan would never buy into all the movie hype and crap, but the movies and their hype are the reason I’m interested in the first place. Not to mention Elijah Wood. I’m sorry, say what you will about the unnatural largeness of his eyes or his fixed expression throughout the first two LOTR movies (my friends have already done so – constantly) but at this pointless time of my life I am totally obsessed. Sad ain’t it? Here’s my theory: you know your life is desperately lacking in guys when you have to turn to celebrity crushes to fill that "desperately gaping void" in your life. Excuse the over dramatisation…

Here I go again, rambling on like a personals ad.

My life? Pretty monotonous at the moment, actually. I go to school, day in, day out, and have been doing so for the majority of my life come to think of it. I know these years are supposed to be the best years of my life and I should treasure my so-called innocence and whatever, but I basically see this … seeking of an education as a limbo in which to bide my time until society deems I have gathered enough knowledge and is mature enough to face the real world. Then! Then I’m going to go out and do something great. Pretty lofty ambitions, huh? But perhaps they’ll be reached in time. Maybe the desire to be famous stems from some deep down insecurity about who I am in this world and whether I’ll have done something significant by the time I’m gone. Oh yeah, another thing about me? I’m really into self-analysis.

So enough with this delving into my psyche thing. You’re probably sick to death of hearing the thoughts of some girl halfway across the world who you’re never going to even meet in this lifetime. But then again, what do I know? I’m willing to bet there are people out there who read detailed investigations on the mating habits of the three-toed sloth for kicks.

So that’s all from me today, it’s way past my bedtime and I need to settle down for another night of restless insomnia and less than seven hours of sleep. After all there’s school tomorrow, and a jabbing pain at my side telling me I’m going to get a bruise from whacking my hip against the doorframe while carrying a chair up the stairs. I’m such a klutz.

Posted By Little Miss Nobody//7:19 am

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